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Change YOUR Thinking Change YOUR LIFE
Because the Quality of your Life depends upon the Quality of your Thoughts
Realize that the thoughts you are thinking are creating your emotions and what you are feeling at this very moment is a gift, a guideline, a support system, a call to action. If you suppress your thoughts and emotions and try to drive them out of your life, or if you magnify them and allow them to take over everything, then you’re squandering one of life’s most precious resources.
So what is the source of emotions? You are the source of all your emotions; you are the one who creates them. So many people feel that they have to wait for certain experiences in order to feel the emotions they desire. For instance, they don’t give themselves permission to feel loved or happy or confident unless a particular set of expectations are met. I’m here to tell you that you can feel any way you choose and at any moment in time.
Out of their need to avoid feeling certain emotions, people will often go to great, even ridiculous, lengths. They’ll turn to drugs, alcohol, overeating, gambling; they’ll lapse into debilitating depression. In order to avoid “hurting” a loved one (or being hurt by one), they’ll suppress all emotions, end up as emotional androids, and ultimately destroy all the feelings of connection that got them together in the first place, thus devastating the ones they love most. I believe there are four basic ways in which people deal with emotion. Which of these have you used today?
1. Avoidance. We all want to avoid painful emotions. As a result, most people try to avoid any situation that could lead to the emotions that they fear—or worse, some people try not to feel any emotions at all! If, for example, they fear rejection, they try to avoid any situation that could lead to rejection. They shy away from relationships. They don’t apply for challenging jobs. Dealing with emotions in this way is the ultimate trap, because while avoiding negative situations may protect you in the short term, it keeps you from feeling the very love, intimacy, and connection that you desire most. And ultimately, you can’t avoid feeling. A much more powerful approach is to learn to find the hidden, positive meaning in those things you once thought were negative emotions.
2. Denial. A second approach to dealing with emotion is the denial strategy. People often try to disassociate from their feelings by saying, “It doesn’t feel that bad.” Meanwhile, they keep stoking the fire within themselves by thinking about how horrible things are, or how someone has taken advantage of them, or how they do everything right but things still turn out wrong, and why does this always happen to them? In other words, they never change their focus or physiology, and they keep asking the same disempowering questions. Experiencing an emotion and trying to pretend it’s not there only creates more pain. Once again, ignoring the messages that your emotions are trying to give you will not make things better. If the message your emotions are trying to deliver is ignored, the emotions simply increase their amperage; they intensify until you finally pay attention. Trying to deny your emotions is not the solution. Understanding them and using them to your advantage is the strategy you need.
3. Competition. Many people stop fighting their painful emotions and decide to fully indulge in them. Rather than learn the positive message their emotion is trying to give them, they intensify it and make it even worse than it is. It becomes a “badge of courage,” and they begin to compete with others, saying, “You think you’ve got it bad? Let me tell you how bad I’ve got it!” It literally becomes part of their identity, a way of being unique; they begin to pride themselves on being worse off than anyone else. As you can imagine, this is one of the deadliest traps of all. This approach must be avoided at all costs, because it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy where the person ends up having an investment in feeling bad on a regular basis—and then they are truly trapped. A much more powerful and healthy approach to dealing with the emotions that we think are painful is to realize that they serve a positive purpose, and that is …
4. Learning and using. If you want to make your life really work, you must make your emotions work for you. You can’t run from them; you can’t tune them out; you can’t trivialize them or delude yourself about what they mean. Nor can you just allow them to run your life. Emotions, even those that seem painful in the short term, are truly like an internal compass that points you toward the actions you must take to arrive at your goals.
Turn frustration into fun .We’re always waiting for the right person or right situation to come along before we can feel good. But who determines whether this is the right person or situation? When you feel good, who is making you feel good? You are! But you simply have a rule that says you have to wait until A, B, and C occur before you allow yourself to feel good.
Why wait? Why not set up a rule that says that whenever you NOTICE any negative thoughts or feelings you start humming or singing if you’re HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS, you’ll automatically feel great? This silences YOUR CRAZY MONKEY with his negative thoughts. The good news is that A SONG is probably more consistent and predictable than the people you’re hoping will show up to make you feel good!”
You don’t have to wait for anything or anyone! You don’t need any special reason to feel good—you can just decide to feel good right now, simply because you’re alive, simply because you want to.
Get up off your chair and DO 5 STAR JUMPS RIGHT NOW.
COME ON DO IT………………
SING IF YOU’RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS.
COME ON DO……………………..
I KNOW YOU FEEL LIKE AN EEJIT BUT I BET YOU FEEL GOOD.
I BET YOU FEEL HAPPY.
I BET YOUR SMILING RIGHT NOW
So if you’re the source of all your emotions, why don’t you feel good all the time? Again, it’s because your so-called negative emotions are giving you a message. What is the message of these Action Signals? They’re telling you that what you’re currently doing is not working, that the reason you have pain is either the way you’re perceiving things or the procedures you’re using: specifically, the way you’re communicating your needs and desires to people, or the actions you’re taking.
What you’re doing is not producing the result you want, and you have to change your approach.
Remember that your perceptions are controlled by what you focus on and the meanings you interpret from things. And you can change your perception in a moment, just by changing the way you’re using your physiology or by asking yourself a better question.
Your procedures include your style of communication. Maybe you’re being too harsh in the way you communicate, or maybe your procedure is not even communicating your needs, and you’re expecting other people to know what you need. This could create a lot of frustration, anger, and hurt in your life. Maybe this Action Signal of feeling hurt is trying to tell you that you need to change your way of communicating so you don’t feel hurt again in the future. Feeling depressed is another call to action, telling you that you need to change your perception that the problems you’re dealing with are permanent or out of control. Or, you need to take some kind of physical action to handle one area of your life so that once again you remember that you are in control.
This is the true message of all your Action Signals. They’re merely trying to support you in taking action to change the way you think, change the way you’re perceiving things, or change your procedures for communicating or behaving. These calls to action are there to remind you that you don’t want to be like the fly that keeps banging himself against the window, trying to get through the glass—if you don’t change your approach, all the persistence in the world will never pay off. Your Action Signals are whispering to you (perhaps screaming!), through the experience of pain, that you need to change what you’re doing.
Think of your mind, your emotions, and your spirit as the ultimate garden. The way to ensure a bountiful, nourishing harvest is to plant seeds like love, warmth, and appreciation, instead of seeds like disappointment, anger, and fear. Begin to think of those Action Signals as weeds in your garden. A weed is a call to action, isn’t it? It says, “You’ve got to do something; you’ve got to pull this out to make room for better, healthier plants to grow.” Keep cultivating the kinds of plants you want, and pull the weeds as soon as you notice them. Let me offer you ten emotional seeds you can plant in your garden. If you nurture these seeds by focusing on feeling what you want to feel every day, you will hold yourself to a standard of greatness. These seeds create a life that flourishes and fulfills its highest potential. Let’s explore them briefly now, and realize that each of these emotions represents an antidote to any of the “negative” emotions you may have been feeling previously.
THE TEN EMOTIONS OF POWER
1. LOVE AND WARMTH. The consistent expression of love seems to be able to melt almost any negative emotions it comes in contact with. If someone is angry with you, you can easily remain loving with them by adopting a core belief such as this marvelous one from the book A Course in Miracles: all communication is either a loving response or a cry for help. If someone comes to you in a state of hurt or anger, and you consistently respond to them with love and warmth, eventually their state will change and their intensity will melt away.
2. APPRECIATION AND GRATITUDE. Appreciation and gratitude are two of the most spiritual emotions, actively expressing through thought and action my appreciation and love for all the gifts that life has given me, that people have given me, that experience has given me. Living in this emotional state has enhanced my life more than almost anything I know of. Cultivating this is cultivating life. Live with an attitude of gratitude. P.S I didn’t always think like this but I had things to learn, BY CHANGING MY ATTITUDE my whole outlook to life changed. Problems became blessings in disguise and my negative emotions became stepping stones to do something different, to find another way.
3. CURIOSITY. If you really want to grow in your life, learn to be as curious as a child. Children know how to wonder—that’s why they’re so endearing. If you want to cure boredom, be curious. If you’re curious, nothing is a chore; it’s automatic—you want to study. Cultivate curiosity, and life becomes an unending study of joy.
4. EXCITEMENT AND PASSION. Excitement and passion can add juice to anything. Passion can turn any challenge into a tremendous opportunity. Passion is unbridled power to move our lives forward at a faster tempo than ever before. To paraphrase Benjamin Disraeli, man is only truly great when he acts from the passions. How do we “get” passion? The same way we “get” love, warmth, appreciation, gratefulness, and curiosity—we decide to feel it! Use your physiology: speak more rapidly, visualize images more rapidly, move your body in the direction you want to go. Don’t just casually sit and think. You can’t be filled with passion if you’re slumping over your desk, breathing shallowly, and slurring your speech.
5. DETERMINATION. All of the above emotions are invaluable, but there is one that you must have if you’re going to create lasting value in this world. It will dictate how you deal with upsets and challenges, with disappointment and disillusionments. Determination means the difference between being stuck and being struck with the lightning power of commitment. If you want to get yourself to lose weight, make those business calls, or follow through on anything, “pushing” yourself won’t do it. Putting yourself in a state of determination will. All your actions will spring from that source, and you’ll just automatically do whatever it takes to accomplish your aim. Acting with determination means making a congruent, committed decision where you’ve cut off any other possibility.
With determination, you can accomplish anything. Without it, you’re doomed to frustration and disappointment. Our willingness to do whatever it takes, to act in spite of fear, is the basis of courage.
And courage is the foundation from which determination is born. The difference between feeling accomplishment or feeling despondency is the cultivation of the emotional muscle of determination.
With all that determination at your command, though, be sure you can also break your own pattern and change your approach. Why smash through a wall if you can just look a little to your left and find a door? Sometimes determination can be a limitation; you need to cultivate . . .
6. FLEXIBILITY. If there’s one seed to plant that will guarantee success, it’s the ability to change your approach. In fact, all those Action Signals—those things you used to call negative emotions—are just messages to be more flexible! Choosing to be flexible is choosing to be happy. Throughout your life there will be times when there are things you will not be able to control, and your ability to be flexible in your rules, the meaning you attach to things, and your actions will determine your long-term success or failure, not to mention your level of personal joy. The reed that bends will survive the windstorm, while the mighty oak tree will crack. If you cultivate all of the above emotions, then you’ll surely develop…
7. CONFIDENCE. Unshakable confidence is the sense of certainty we all want. The only way you can consistently experience confidence, even in environments and situations you’ve never previously encountered, is through the power of faith. Imagine and feel certain about the emotions you deserve to have now, rather than wait for them to spontaneously appear someday in the far distant future. When you’re confident, you’re willing to experiment, to put yourself on the line. One way to develop faith and confidence is simply to practice using it. If I were to ask whether you’re confident that you can tie your own shoes, I’m sure you could tell me with perfect confidence that you can. Why? Only because you’ve done it thousands of times! So practice confidence by using it consistently, and you’ll be amazed at the dividends it reaps in every area of your life.
In order to get yourself to do anything, it’s imperative to exercise confidence rather than fear. The tragedy of many people’s lives is that they avoid doing things because they’re afraid; they even feel bad about things in advance. But remember: the source of success for outstanding achievers often finds its origin in a set of nurtured beliefs for which that individual had no references! The ability to act on faith is what moves the human race forward. Another emotion you’ll automatically experience once you’ve succeeded in cultivating all the above is …
8. CHEERFULNESS. When I added cheerfulness to my list of most important values, people commented,
“There’s something different about you. You seem so happy.” I realized that I had been happy, but I hadn’t told my face about it! There’s a big difference between being happy on the inside, and being outwardly cheerful. Cheerfulness enhances your self-esteem, makes life more fun, and makes the people around you feel happier as well. Cheerfulness has the power to eliminate the feelings of fear, hurt, anger, frustration, disappointment, depression, guilt, and inadequacy from your life. You’ve achieved cheerfulness the day you realize that no matter what’s happening around you, being anything other than cheerful will not make it better.
Being cheerful does not mean that you’re Pollyanna or that you look at the world through rose-colored glasses and refuse to acknowledge challenges. Being cheerful means you’re incredibly intelligent because you know that if you live life in a state of pleasure— one that’s so intense that you transmit a sense of joy to those around you—you can have the impact to meet virtually any challenge that comes your way. Cultivate cheerfulness, and you won’t need so many of those “painful” Action Signals to get your attention! Make it easy for yourself to feel cheerful by planting the seed of…
9. VITALITY. Handling this area is critical. If you don’t take care of your physical body, it’s more difficult to be able to enjoy these emotions. Make sure that physical vitality is available; remember that all emotions are directed through your body. If you’re feeling out of sorts emotionally, you need to look at the basics. How are you breathing? When people are stressed, they stop breathing, sapping their vitality.
Learning to breathe properly is the most important avenue toward good health. Another critical element to physical vitality is ensuring that you have an abundant level of nerve energy.
How do you do this? Realize that day to day you’re expending nerve energy through your actions, and as obvious as it sounds, you do need to make sure that you rest and recharge. By the way, how much sleep are you getting? If you’re regularly logging eight to ten hours of sack time, you’re probably getting too much sleep! Six to seven hours has been found to be optimum for most people. Contrary to popular belief, sitting still doesn’t preserve energy. The truth is, that’s usually when you feel most tired.
The human nervous system needs to move to have energy. To a certain extent, expending energy gives you a greater sense of energy. As you move, oxygen flows through your system, and that physical level of health creates the emotional sense of vitality that can help you to deal with virtually any negative challenge you could have in your life, so realize that a sense of vitality is a critical emotion to cultivate
in order to handle virtually any emotions that come up in your life, not to mention the critical resource in experiencing consistent passion. Once your garden is filled with these powerful emotions, then you can share your bounty through . . .
10. CONTRIBUTION. Years ago, I remember being in one of the toughest times in my life, I felt stuck and powerless but, I kept asking, “What do I need to do to turn my life around?”
Suddenly an insight came to me, if I’m like this how many more people are as well, so I decided that I would find a way to improve my health and happiness and then help others, and Hey Presto ZEST FOR LIFE NI was born
So are you ready to take the 21day Change Your Thinking Change Your Life Challenge?
You know you want more.
You know that something has to change
You know that there is more to you
You know that it’s time to let go of the past and move forward
You know that you have had enough
What’s included in the 21 day Programme
* 21 days of videos lasting between 4-10 mins long
* Exercises to complete
* Change your Thinking Change your Life EBook
Day 1 Overcoming your story
Day 2 Forgiving others
Day 3 Forgiving yourself
Day 4 How the mind works
Day 5 Lies v Truth
Day 6 Where do beliefs come from?
Day 7 Your attitude determines your altitude
Day 8 What are you focusing on?
Day 9 Level 1 and Level 2 consciousness
Day 10 Left and Right Brain
Day 11 Visualisation
Day 12 Silly voice Technique
Day 13 Train your Brain
Day 14 Disempowering and Empowering questions
Day 15 How love can heal your heart
Day 16 The power of affirmations with repetition and emotion
Day 17 How to Meditate
Day 18 Body soul and Spirit
Day 19 What’s Your Values?
Day 20 Praise you Rise, Complain you Remain
Day 21 How to Breakthrough years of Mental Habits and Conditioning
This programme normally retails at £99.99 but for a limited period of time you will get it at the discounted price of only £59.99
Sign up TODAY the only thing you have to lose is the garbage from your mind/past
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